Like Father, Like Son

Something special happened recently when I received an innocent email requesting information on some whales we have listed on a website we manage.  The message came from the Deputy Copy Chief at Cosmopolitan Magazine, a major fashion and lifestyle magazine of the Hurst Corporation.  Now for those that know me, this may just come as a real shocker.  This young lady, in the course of a few innocent emails, just played a major role in my life.

The inquiry was for an article about men; well it is for Cosmo magazine.  How easy it is to judge one another I thought. How easy it is to impart judgment upon ourselves when we fall short of the ideals we have set for the perfect father.   But the content of these emails has allowed me to revisit my own personal feelings about how I look at myself as a man and more importantly, how I look at women.  This in turn has raised the questions of how well I did raising two boys to be good thoughtful men with a positive personality and compassion towards others.

This young lady was warm and open, honest and compassionate. She was cautious not to offend yet capable to gather information.  She really seems like someone that I would like as her honest open approach lowers tensions in what is a very personal and private topic for me.

Shortly after reading these emails I began wondering, how well had I done a teaching my two boys about being respectful of others?  Will they grow to be positive considerate individuals like I hope they will be?  Luckily, these boys are also products from a very loving and compassionate mother.  Their respect for her will always be a big part of who they are.  But this still doesn’t answer the question, how did I score as a father and as a dad?

The Score Card, an Awakening to Reality.

Now I may be pretty biased but I am very proud of the boys I help raise and I feel contented in seeing the type of young men they are turning out to be.  But was it any of my doing?  Was it all from their mother?  Or was it something from outside our control that molded them into the men they are today?   To be honest, it just may have been a combination of all three.

Now I want to revisit 7 of the most important areas a father must practice if he is to be able to help his children become strong and happy members of our society.

1. Awareness: This is one of those areas that so many of us can improve upon.  A good man is aware of the need of others.
2. Compassionate: What would we be without compassion? A good man will show empathy to others and consult them in times of hardship.
3. Considerate: A good man needs to be considerate of others.
4. Honesty: Highly under rated in many corners of our society, A good man is honest with himself and with others. Honesty is the cornerstone of acceptance and friendship. Two important needs in growing to be a man.
5. Respectful: A good man will have respect of others and exercise respect within himself.
6. Sensitive: A good man isn’t afraid to openly express his feelings or his emotions with those he holds in trust.
7. Trustworthy: A good man will make you feel that you can trust his motives and intentions every minute of the day.

The Score Card

What have I taught my sons about dealing with people and how will my sons be regarded in the years to come?   At this point I feel pretty good as the boys have been with us through some very trying times and come out of them with a better understanding of right from wrong, good from bad, acceptable and unacceptable and a host of other daily behaviors that distinguish the person as a valuable member of society.